Solar Chakra Journey
Throughout my life I have been compelled by a force. Somehow I found the power to succeed in all the ways I thought I needed to, despite the cost.
What I did was in no way connected to my purpose. My desire to “be good” and support my family was so great that I did it anyway. I had to close off my feelings and my needs. I ignored my inner voice, saying “Please no, I don’t want this!”
There was the occasional, inevitable emotional breakdown and the resulting question of “what’s the alternative?” To which an answer never came.
It was the only way I knew. The only way I’d been taught to succeed. The socio-economic carrot dangling in front of me; a belief that at one point it would come to an end, one day I would be able to leave, one day I would live the life I wanted.
I see how lucky I was to have will power this strong. For over 20 years of my life, I did what I didn’t actually want to do and I worked really hard doing it! This is the power of will! This is the power of the solar plexus. This internal fire, ability to move into action is our life force and if put to the right use – wow - we are unstoppable!!
Then all of a sudden one day, it all changed…
I had to feed my body on lots of root chakra foods to ground me and help me feel safe. I cycled to work each day and started each morning with Ashtanga yoga or HIIT sessions, making me stronger and more capable. I made sure I could handle the pressure; I was determined to handle it!
That is, until I couldn’t anymore.
One day I woke up and it just wasn’t possible anymore. I was unable to make myself to do anything that didn’t truly resonate…
I suffered ‘adrenal fatigue’. My body finally said “NO!! You wont push me to do anything from now on”. My will/ego hadn’t listened for so long and finally by body took matters into it’s own hands.
I had to make changes, adapting as much as I could. I had to relearn how to be in the world, now from a place of natural flow. I started asking myself, does this serve me or my community? If it didn’t I would loose power.
I switched drum and bass for peaceful, soulful music, power yoga classes for my own inner practice, and competitive thought for cooperative. I consciously let go of old habitual patterns that I had developed with forceful thought and opened my heart to a new world.
A new level of meditation enabled a space for reflection and learning. Sometimes there was emptiness and space for being and releasing. Other times visions for the work I was here to do would come through. A new lease of energy was available to me, providing the opportunity to start a fresh.
I asked for a vision and assistance with growth, happiness and fulfilling work. Spirit granted this and my energy returned to facilitate the change.
For the next two years, I worked tirelessly (most of the time!) to bring forth my new creations and our new way of life.
This was possible because I saw a future full of service to others and self. If we choose to support the collective, we are supported in turn.
In meditation, an undeniable connection clarified this and I saw proof time and again in the real world.
There are times when new challenges come and negative beliefs surface, but now I am brave and I say yes -
Yes, to emerging in courage. Yes, to flowing with divine power!
For me, there is nothing more worthy than to spend this life facilitating growth and to move collectively towards the best versions of ourselves possible.
I now know what I am truly capable of and I will do all I can to assist this planet and humanity.