Sacral Chakra Journey
Why is there so much suffering? Why are people so mean? I am “good”, why do I have to experience such evil? How can I get out of this life I'm trapped in?
As an empath, these were questions I used to ask myself all the time.
I’m highly tuned to others emotions and without knowing how to process, clear, express my truth and elevate to higher states of consciousness, I repressed painful emotions, which inevitably led over time to physical illness.
At the point I finally made a change in my own life I was drinking every night to try to dull my internal discomfort, My immune system was compromised, I had pain in the right side of my neck, my left shoulder, my wrists, my knees, hips and lower back. I was a pain!
Throughout all this, I was focused on being the “good” I wanted to see. I worked 10 hour days, supported all my friends, hosted elaborate parties, devoted myself to our children’s lives. I did all I could to show my good to the world.
Then, god forbid, anyone brought up something that I did that wasn’t perfect! I was mortified that I hadn’t ‘put others first’ and hadn’t ‘been seen’ to be thoughtful and caring. I did my all, to meet everyone’s needs. Often, this wasn’t enough and still I was the “bad” guy, which caused another layer of suffering because I wanted to make sure everyone else was put first!
Inside me a rage was growing. A rage at the bad in the world, a rage at having no escape. No matter what I did to try to be “good” this evil was waiting for me. What felt like a demon grew over those 10 years.
Despite my humbleness and a deep desire to be of service to humanity, somehow I had ended up in a job I didn’t want feeding my energy into the banking system which I was deeply ashamed of and living in a home that had more disharmony than I had ever thought was possible. I felt sad, exhausted and stuck…
In 2016 after a singing bowl was rung on my heart, I accessed bliss and joy and recognised what was possible for myself and life. In that moment I knew there was another way.
I experienced true “spirituality”. Divine energy opened to me, moments of deep peace, silence and stillness. It felt like heaven on earth! I also saw I had been living in a cage of pain. So much internalised suffering, stored in my cells, which led to trauma release and deep healing work.
Meditation became easy, as a loving vibration flowed through me, leading me from my old life to a new - awakening to higher plains and bringing the learning to the world.
I saw people with true love and acceptance, despite previous anger I had felt towards them. I entered states of pure acceptance of all that is and embraced all of life just the wait is - what a joy!!
I was still releasing and healing. How could I have lived that life and endured all that suffering? So many lost years!
After society’s conditioning and with no clear other way of being I had to came to terms with the fact that I hadn’t been brave enough to live a life I wanted.
I would sit there thinking, racking my brain but never come up with an answer – now I know it was because I was trying to find the solution using my mind, rather than going beyond the mind into deep states of meditation to access sub- and super-conscious, where all the answers are!
I started to see, rather than judge, enjoying the play, unaffected by the outcome and a new level of impulse awakened, pulling me towards a reality I was envisioning.
A whirlwind of creation manifested; ideas and concepts streamed to me in meditation. I called out for assistance and was fluidly united with a nun and a yogic monk, who helped bring my vision to reality.
I felt spirit moving me to a new way of being, in a new world.
Within 2 years the world went from darkness and pain, to joy and light. Of course these extremes aren't absolute, as neither can exist without the other.
All possible experiences exist in our reality and the duality makes for some very potent challenges! All is peace and perfection in the super-conscious expansiveness beyond duality, yet in this everyday reality, one can only flow between two shores.
When we ‘return’, there will only be joy – nothing other than beautiful, absolute divine states of love, beyond anything that we can experience in this material reality. And as more “soul” comes in, one simply witnesses the illusion of good and evil.
This is a journey we came to experience! We chose to come to earth and be humans. We wanted to play this game of remembering we came to play the game! What fun!
We occasionally forget that it is a game and experience the suffering of sadness, pain and anger that causes. But the gift of remembering is only ever an instance away.
I allowed an imbalance to occur in my system, amassing for years. I could have done something but choose not too but it’s never too late to remember.
I know now that it is all about resonance; emotion, thought, experience. Being with, sensing and adapting one’s own resonate to higher states.
I choose to keep my heart open to truth and be prepared for any eventuality. Fear and anger close down the heart and keep us small. The wide open heart is clear, powerful and wise, can heal any pain and is capable of anything.
Until we know this, we will keep being given opportunities to learn. This is the amazing, magical game of life.